Just for a laugh
There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5.00, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The blonde reluctantly accepted. The lawyer first asked, 'What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?' Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5.00. then the blonde asked, 'What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?' Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00 The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, 'What is the answer to your question?' Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
Sakina, the khoja gossip and self-appointed
supervisor of the khoja's morals, kept sticking her
nose into other people's business.
Several residents were unappreciative of her
activities, but feared her enough to maintain their
silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused
Ashraf, a new member, of being an alcoholic after
she saw his car parked in front of the
town's only bar one afternoon.
She commented to Ashraf and others that everyone
seeing it there would know that he was an
alcoholic. Ashraf, a man of few words, stared at her
for a moment and just walked away. He said nothing.
Later that evening, Ashraf, quietly parked his
car in front of
Sakina's house...............
AND he left it there all night.
supervisor of the khoja's morals, kept sticking her
nose into other people's business.
Several residents were unappreciative of her
activities, but feared her enough to maintain their
silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused
Ashraf, a new member, of being an alcoholic after
she saw his car parked in front of the
town's only bar one afternoon.
She commented to Ashraf and others that everyone
seeing it there would know that he was an
alcoholic. Ashraf, a man of few words, stared at her
for a moment and just walked away. He said nothing.
Later that evening, Ashraf, quietly parked his
car in front of
Sakina's house...............
AND he left it there all night.
A lady walked into a drug store and told the pharmacist she needed some cyanide.
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord have mercy, I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband!
That's against the law! I'll lose my license... They'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not! You can NOT have any cyanide!"
Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband having dinner in a restaurant with pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well, now... You didn't tell me you had a prescription".
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord have mercy, I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband!
That's against the law! I'll lose my license... They'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not! You can NOT have any cyanide!"
Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband having dinner in a restaurant with pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well, now... You didn't tell me you had a prescription".
-
Guest
The age question
Some people grow old gracefully, while others fight and
scratch the whole way. Andy's wife, refusing to give in to the looks
of growing old, goes out and buys a new line of expensive cosmetics
guaranteed to make her look years younger.
After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the "miracle"
products, she asks her husband, "Darling, honestly, if you didn't
know me, what age would you say I am?" Looking over her carefully,
Andy replied, "Judging from your skin, 20; your hair, 18; and your figure, 25."
"Oh, you flatterer!" she gushed. Just as she was about to tell Andy
his reward, he stops her by saying... "WHOA, hold on there sweety!"
Andy interrupted."I haven't added them up yet.
Some people grow old gracefully, while others fight and
scratch the whole way. Andy's wife, refusing to give in to the looks
of growing old, goes out and buys a new line of expensive cosmetics
guaranteed to make her look years younger.
After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the "miracle"
products, she asks her husband, "Darling, honestly, if you didn't
know me, what age would you say I am?" Looking over her carefully,
Andy replied, "Judging from your skin, 20; your hair, 18; and your figure, 25."
"Oh, you flatterer!" she gushed. Just as she was about to tell Andy
his reward, he stops her by saying... "WHOA, hold on there sweety!"
Andy interrupted."I haven't added them up yet.
A man from Bihar was away from his
wife for four (4) years while his wife was in Patna (Bihar).
At the end of 4 years he distributed sweets to his
colleagues in office stating that his wife had delivered a son.
His colleagues were quite shocked and they asked how this "Happy
event" happened when he had not seen his wife for four years...
The man said it is common in Bihar that neighbours take care of the
wife (good Samaritans) when men are away.
The colleagues asked him, "What name will you give to the son?"
The man explained, "If its the second neighbour who has taken
care,then the name would be "DWIVEDI";
If it is the third neighbour then it would
be "TRIVEDI",
If it is the fourth neighbour then it
would be "CHATURVEDI";
If its the fifth neighbour then it would
be "PANDEY"...
After listening to this, questions followed.
What if it is a mixture of neighbours?
"Then the boy would be named "MISHRA"...
And what if the wife is too shy to tell
the name of the neighbour?
Then it would be "SHARMA"...
But what if she refuses to divulge the
name of the neighbour?
Then the name of the child would be "GUPTA"...
If she does not remember the name then?
"It is YAAD-AV"
But who knows whether the child resulted
from a rape?
Then it will be named "DOSHI"...
Finally, if the child happened because
of wife's burning desire?
Then he will be named "JOSHI"...
And if the whole country had made efforts
for the happy arrival?....
"DESHPANDEY."
wife for four (4) years while his wife was in Patna (Bihar).
At the end of 4 years he distributed sweets to his
colleagues in office stating that his wife had delivered a son.
His colleagues were quite shocked and they asked how this "Happy
event" happened when he had not seen his wife for four years...
The man said it is common in Bihar that neighbours take care of the
wife (good Samaritans) when men are away.
The colleagues asked him, "What name will you give to the son?"
The man explained, "If its the second neighbour who has taken
care,then the name would be "DWIVEDI";
If it is the third neighbour then it would
be "TRIVEDI",
If it is the fourth neighbour then it
would be "CHATURVEDI";
If its the fifth neighbour then it would
be "PANDEY"...
After listening to this, questions followed.
What if it is a mixture of neighbours?
"Then the boy would be named "MISHRA"...
And what if the wife is too shy to tell
the name of the neighbour?
Then it would be "SHARMA"...
But what if she refuses to divulge the
name of the neighbour?
Then the name of the child would be "GUPTA"...
If she does not remember the name then?
"It is YAAD-AV"
But who knows whether the child resulted
from a rape?
Then it will be named "DOSHI"...
Finally, if the child happened because
of wife's burning desire?
Then he will be named "JOSHI"...
And if the whole country had made efforts
for the happy arrival?....
"DESHPANDEY."
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and
asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle
of the property with a stream running by."
"No," he said, "I mean, what is the foundation of this case?"
"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.
"I mean," he continued, "what are your relations like?"
"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my
husband's parents."
He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"
"No," she replied, "we have a two-car carport and have never really
needed one."
"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your
marriage?"
"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't
necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is
yes."
"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"
"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I
do."
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a
divorce?"
"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a
divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me!
asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle
of the property with a stream running by."
"No," he said, "I mean, what is the foundation of this case?"
"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.
"I mean," he continued, "what are your relations like?"
"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my
husband's parents."
He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"
"No," she replied, "we have a two-car carport and have never really
needed one."
"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your
marriage?"
"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't
necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is
yes."
"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"
"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I
do."
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a
divorce?"
"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a
divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me!
A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of a few boys about 10 years of age, surrounding a dog. Concerned that the boys were hurting the animal, he went over and asked them what they were doing.
One of the boys replied, "This dog is an old neighborhood stray. We take him home with us sometimes, but only one of us can take him home. So we're having a contest: whichever one of us tells the biggest lie can take him home today."
Of course, the Reverend was shocked. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a 10-minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie?" and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."
There was complete silence for about a minute. As the Reverend smiled with satisfaction that he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh. "All right," he said, "give him the dog."
One of the boys replied, "This dog is an old neighborhood stray. We take him home with us sometimes, but only one of us can take him home. So we're having a contest: whichever one of us tells the biggest lie can take him home today."
Of course, the Reverend was shocked. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a 10-minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie?" and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."
There was complete silence for about a minute. As the Reverend smiled with satisfaction that he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh. "All right," he said, "give him the dog."
A priest at a parochial school, wanting to point out the proper behavior for church, was trying to elicit from the youngsters rules that their parents might give before taking them to a nice restaurant. 'Don't play with your food,' one second-grader cited. 'Don't be loud,' said another, and so on. 'And what rule do your parents give you before you go out to eat?' the priest inquired of one little boy. Without batting an eye, the child replied, 'Order something cheap.'
An Tanzanian dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.
He goes to the German hell and asks,"What do they do here?" He is told,
"First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."
The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on.He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers
that they are all more or less the same as the German hell. Then he comes to the Tanzanian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?" He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Tanzanian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." "But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?"
"Because there are power cuts and the maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the canteen!
He goes to the German hell and asks,"What do they do here?" He is told,
"First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."
The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on.He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers
that they are all more or less the same as the German hell. Then he comes to the Tanzanian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?" He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Tanzanian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." "But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?"
"Because there are power cuts and the maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the canteen!
Just Humour
A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. He asks a priest for his opinion on this question. The priest says after consulting the Bible, "My son, after an exhaustive search I am positive sex is work and is not permitted the Sabbath."
The man thinks: "What does a priest know about sex?"
He goes to minister... a married man, experienced… for the answer. He queries the minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and not for the Sabbath! Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out the ultimate authority -- a man of thousands of year's tradition and knowledge: a rabbi.
The rabbi ponders the question and states, "My son, sex is definitely play."
The man replies, "rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?"
The rabbi softly speaks, " If sex were work...my wife would have the maid do it."
A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. He asks a priest for his opinion on this question. The priest says after consulting the Bible, "My son, after an exhaustive search I am positive sex is work and is not permitted the Sabbath."
The man thinks: "What does a priest know about sex?"
He goes to minister... a married man, experienced… for the answer. He queries the minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and not for the Sabbath! Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out the ultimate authority -- a man of thousands of year's tradition and knowledge: a rabbi.
The rabbi ponders the question and states, "My son, sex is definitely play."
The man replies, "rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?"
The rabbi softly speaks, " If sex were work...my wife would have the maid do it."
An Arab was admitted in the Lilavati Hospital at Mumbai for a heart
transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his
blood in case need arises. As the gentleman had a rare type of blood,
it couldn't be found locally.So the call went out to a number of
countries.
Finally a Gujarati was located who had a similar type of blood. The
Gujarati willingly donated his blood for the Arab.
After the surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati as appreciation for
giving his blood, a new Toyota Prado, diamonds, lapiz lazuri
jewellery, and a million US dollars.
Once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor
telephoned the Gujarati who was more than happy to donate his blood
again.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati a thank you card
and a jar of Almond halwa sweets.
The Gujarati was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not
reciprocate the Gujarati's kind gesture as he had anticipated. He
phoned the Arab and asked him that this time also i thought that u
would give me Toyota Prado, Diamonds and Jewellery.....
But u gave only a card and a jar of Almond sweets..
On this the Arab replied "Bapu.....now I have Gujju blood in my
veins!"
transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his
blood in case need arises. As the gentleman had a rare type of blood,
it couldn't be found locally.So the call went out to a number of
countries.
Finally a Gujarati was located who had a similar type of blood. The
Gujarati willingly donated his blood for the Arab.
After the surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati as appreciation for
giving his blood, a new Toyota Prado, diamonds, lapiz lazuri
jewellery, and a million US dollars.
Once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor
telephoned the Gujarati who was more than happy to donate his blood
again.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati a thank you card
and a jar of Almond halwa sweets.
The Gujarati was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not
reciprocate the Gujarati's kind gesture as he had anticipated. He
phoned the Arab and asked him that this time also i thought that u
would give me Toyota Prado, Diamonds and Jewellery.....
But u gave only a card and a jar of Almond sweets..
On this the Arab replied "Bapu.....now I have Gujju blood in my
veins!"
Two blondes are waiting at a bus stop. When a bus pulls up and opens the door, one of the blondes leans inside and asks the bus driver:''Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?'' The bus driver shakes his head and says,''No, I'm sorry.'' At this the other blonde leans inside, smiles, and twitters: ''Will it take ME?''
I read this and couldn't stop laughing ...
A bit of light humour.....
It is the year 2020 and call centres are opening all over the West, as the new economic power India outsources work to the countries where many jobs originated. Millions of Americans, still struggling to adapt to a
global economy, are willing to accept jobs that pay them in a new currency sweeping much of the world: EuRupees.
Some of them, eager to land one of the customer service jobs from India, are attending special training sessions in New York City, led by language specialist Dave Ramsey, who goes by a simpler name for his Indian clients: Devendra Ramaswaminathan.
On this warm afternoon, the professor is teaching three ambitious students how to communicate with Indian customers.
Professor: "Okay, Gary, Randy and Jane, first we need to give you Indian names. Gary, from now on, you'll be known to your customers as Gaurav.
Randy, you'll be Ranjit. And Jane, you'll be Jagadamba.
Now imagine you just received a call from Delhi. What do you say?"
Gary: "Name as tea?"
Professor: "I think you mean 'namaste.' Very good. But what do you say afterthat?"
Gary: "How can I help you?"
Professor: "You're on the right track. Anyone else?"
Jane: "How can I be helping you?"
Professor: "Good try! You're using the correct tense, but it's not quite right. Anyone else?"
Randy: "How I can be helping you?"
Professor: "Wonderful! Word order is very important. Okay, let's try some small talk. Give me a comment that would help you make a connection withyour Indian customers."
Randy: "It's really hot, isn't it?"
Professor: "The heat is always a good topic, but you haven't phrased it correctly. Try again."
Randy: "It's deadly hot, isn't it?"
Professor: "That's better. But your tag question can be greatly improved."
Randy: "It's deadly hot, no?"
Professor: "Wonderful! You can put 'no?' at the end of almost any statement.
You are understanding me, no?"
Jane: "Yes, we are understanding you, no?"
Professor (smiles): "We may need to review this later. But let's move on to other things. Have you ever heard Indians use the word 'yaar'?"
Randy: "Yes, my Indian friends use it all the time. Just last night, one of them said to me, 'Randy, give me yaar password. I am needing it to fix yaar computer."
Professor (laughs): "That's a different 'yaar,' yaar. The 'yaar' that I'm talking about means friend or buddy. You can use it if you've developed a camaraderie with a customer. For example, you can say, 'Come
on, yaar. I am offering you the best deal.' Do you understand, Jagadamba?"
Jane: "Yaar, I do."
Professor (smiles): "Okay, let's talk about accents. If your client says 'I yam wery vorried about vat I bought for my vife,' how would you respond?"
Randy: "Please don't be vorrying, yaar. She vill be wery happy and vill
giveyou a vild time tonight."
Professor: "Vunderful! I mean, wonderful. You have a bright future,Ranjit. And so do you, Jagadamba. But Gaurav, you haven't said anything in a while. Do you have any questions about what we've just learned?"
Gary: "Yes, Professor, I do have one question:
Wouldn't it be simpler to learn to speak Hindi?"
A bit of light humour.....
It is the year 2020 and call centres are opening all over the West, as the new economic power India outsources work to the countries where many jobs originated. Millions of Americans, still struggling to adapt to a
global economy, are willing to accept jobs that pay them in a new currency sweeping much of the world: EuRupees.
Some of them, eager to land one of the customer service jobs from India, are attending special training sessions in New York City, led by language specialist Dave Ramsey, who goes by a simpler name for his Indian clients: Devendra Ramaswaminathan.
On this warm afternoon, the professor is teaching three ambitious students how to communicate with Indian customers.
Professor: "Okay, Gary, Randy and Jane, first we need to give you Indian names. Gary, from now on, you'll be known to your customers as Gaurav.
Randy, you'll be Ranjit. And Jane, you'll be Jagadamba.
Now imagine you just received a call from Delhi. What do you say?"
Gary: "Name as tea?"
Professor: "I think you mean 'namaste.' Very good. But what do you say afterthat?"
Gary: "How can I help you?"
Professor: "You're on the right track. Anyone else?"
Jane: "How can I be helping you?"
Professor: "Good try! You're using the correct tense, but it's not quite right. Anyone else?"
Randy: "How I can be helping you?"
Professor: "Wonderful! Word order is very important. Okay, let's try some small talk. Give me a comment that would help you make a connection withyour Indian customers."
Randy: "It's really hot, isn't it?"
Professor: "The heat is always a good topic, but you haven't phrased it correctly. Try again."
Randy: "It's deadly hot, isn't it?"
Professor: "That's better. But your tag question can be greatly improved."
Randy: "It's deadly hot, no?"
Professor: "Wonderful! You can put 'no?' at the end of almost any statement.
You are understanding me, no?"
Jane: "Yes, we are understanding you, no?"
Professor (smiles): "We may need to review this later. But let's move on to other things. Have you ever heard Indians use the word 'yaar'?"
Randy: "Yes, my Indian friends use it all the time. Just last night, one of them said to me, 'Randy, give me yaar password. I am needing it to fix yaar computer."
Professor (laughs): "That's a different 'yaar,' yaar. The 'yaar' that I'm talking about means friend or buddy. You can use it if you've developed a camaraderie with a customer. For example, you can say, 'Come
on, yaar. I am offering you the best deal.' Do you understand, Jagadamba?"
Jane: "Yaar, I do."
Professor (smiles): "Okay, let's talk about accents. If your client says 'I yam wery vorried about vat I bought for my vife,' how would you respond?"
Randy: "Please don't be vorrying, yaar. She vill be wery happy and vill
giveyou a vild time tonight."
Professor: "Vunderful! I mean, wonderful. You have a bright future,Ranjit. And so do you, Jagadamba. But Gaurav, you haven't said anything in a while. Do you have any questions about what we've just learned?"
Gary: "Yes, Professor, I do have one question:
Wouldn't it be simpler to learn to speak Hindi?"
Kanjibhai is talking to the family doctor. "Doc, I think my wife Rupaben
going deaf."
The doctor answers, "Well, here's something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn't answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. Then you'll be able to tell just how hard of hearing she really is."
Kanjibhai goes home and tries it out. He walks in the door and says, "Muna ni Ba , what's for dinner?"
He doesn't hear an answer, so he moves closer to her.
"Eh are you listening , what's for dinner?" Still no answer.
He repeats this several times, until he's standing just a few feet away
from her. Finally, Rupaben answers, "For the eleventh time, I said we're having
THEPLA!"
going deaf."
The doctor answers, "Well, here's something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn't answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. Then you'll be able to tell just how hard of hearing she really is."
Kanjibhai goes home and tries it out. He walks in the door and says, "Muna ni Ba , what's for dinner?"
He doesn't hear an answer, so he moves closer to her.
"Eh are you listening , what's for dinner?" Still no answer.
He repeats this several times, until he's standing just a few feet away
from her. Finally, Rupaben answers, "For the eleventh time, I said we're having
THEPLA!"
-
Guest
TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You retire on the income.
KENYAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You eat both of them. You blame Indians for shortages. You ask the European Union to give another two cows to eat.
INDIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You worship them.
PAKISTAN ECONOMICS You don't have any cows. You claim that the Indian cows belong to you. You ask the US for financial aid, China for military aid, British for Warplanes, Italy for machines, Germany for technology, French for submarines, Switzerland for loans, Russia for drugs Japan for equipment. You buy the cows with all this and claim exploitation by the world.
AMERICAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You profess surprise when the cow drops dead. You put the blame on some nation with cows & naturally that nation will be a danger to mankind. You wage a war to save the world and grab the cows.
MEXICAN ECONOMICS You have two cows Both try to cross to the US One cow drowns The other cow produces for the US
ETHIOPIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows One starves to death. The government takes the other cow and slaughters it Half the meat is fed to the soldiers fighting Eritrea The other half is sold to buy bullets for use on democracy protesters
ERITREAN ECONOMICS - WE DON'T WANT YOUR COWS! We will wait until border demarcation to raise and slaughter our own.
FRENCH ECONOMICS You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
GERMAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You re-engineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.
BRITISH ECONOMICS You have two cows. They are both mad cows.
ITALIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
SWISS ECONOMICS You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
JAPANESE ECONOMICS You have two cows. You redesign them so that they are 1/10TH the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create cute cartoon cow images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.
RUSSIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 17 cows. You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka.
CHINESE ECONOMICS You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers.
SPANISH ECONOMICS You have two cows. You sell them to buy a specially bred Spanish bull. The bull gets killed in a "corrida de toros" in Seville. The "matador" becomes famous and the bull's head ends up in display in some traditional tapas bar in Andalusia for the amusement of tourists.
TAIWANESE ECONOMICS You have two cows. You send a spy to Japan to try copy their high-tech chip milking strategy. It doesn't work so kill the cows and sell all the meat to be eaten at some Taipei night market. You produce thousands of fake Cowkimon merchandise and sell it at the above-mentioned night market.
MALAYSIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You draft the 9th Malaysian Plan with a long-term strategy to turn Malaysia into the leading producer of milk in the region. The Plan gets stuck in bureaucracy going from one Ministry to the other. By the time the Plan reaches government approval, Singapore has managed to buy the cows off the Malaysians and has become the main producer and exporter of milk in the South East Asia region.
NIGERIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows You send an e-mail to all Yahoo! and Hotmail users explaining that you have 10 cows that you've inherited but cannot access. You request an advance fee of 3 cows in order to get the 10 cows and promise a return of 5 cows. It is discovered you never had any cows to start off with.
NEW ZEALAND ECONOMICS You have two cows. Your sheep are jealous.
FINNISH ECONOMICS You have two cows You sell one cow to buy the newest Nokia phone The government takes the other cow in payment for taxes for selling a cow for profit.
CANADIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows You milk one in French, one in English The French one now wishes to split, the English one whines about it.
by Helenism
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You retire on the income.
KENYAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You eat both of them. You blame Indians for shortages. You ask the European Union to give another two cows to eat.
INDIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You worship them.
PAKISTAN ECONOMICS You don't have any cows. You claim that the Indian cows belong to you. You ask the US for financial aid, China for military aid, British for Warplanes, Italy for machines, Germany for technology, French for submarines, Switzerland for loans, Russia for drugs Japan for equipment. You buy the cows with all this and claim exploitation by the world.
AMERICAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You profess surprise when the cow drops dead. You put the blame on some nation with cows & naturally that nation will be a danger to mankind. You wage a war to save the world and grab the cows.
MEXICAN ECONOMICS You have two cows Both try to cross to the US One cow drowns The other cow produces for the US
ETHIOPIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows One starves to death. The government takes the other cow and slaughters it Half the meat is fed to the soldiers fighting Eritrea The other half is sold to buy bullets for use on democracy protesters
ERITREAN ECONOMICS - WE DON'T WANT YOUR COWS! We will wait until border demarcation to raise and slaughter our own.
FRENCH ECONOMICS You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
GERMAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You re-engineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.
BRITISH ECONOMICS You have two cows. They are both mad cows.
ITALIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
SWISS ECONOMICS You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
JAPANESE ECONOMICS You have two cows. You redesign them so that they are 1/10TH the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create cute cartoon cow images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.
RUSSIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 17 cows. You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka.
CHINESE ECONOMICS You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers.
SPANISH ECONOMICS You have two cows. You sell them to buy a specially bred Spanish bull. The bull gets killed in a "corrida de toros" in Seville. The "matador" becomes famous and the bull's head ends up in display in some traditional tapas bar in Andalusia for the amusement of tourists.
TAIWANESE ECONOMICS You have two cows. You send a spy to Japan to try copy their high-tech chip milking strategy. It doesn't work so kill the cows and sell all the meat to be eaten at some Taipei night market. You produce thousands of fake Cowkimon merchandise and sell it at the above-mentioned night market.
MALAYSIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You draft the 9th Malaysian Plan with a long-term strategy to turn Malaysia into the leading producer of milk in the region. The Plan gets stuck in bureaucracy going from one Ministry to the other. By the time the Plan reaches government approval, Singapore has managed to buy the cows off the Malaysians and has become the main producer and exporter of milk in the South East Asia region.
NIGERIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows You send an e-mail to all Yahoo! and Hotmail users explaining that you have 10 cows that you've inherited but cannot access. You request an advance fee of 3 cows in order to get the 10 cows and promise a return of 5 cows. It is discovered you never had any cows to start off with.
NEW ZEALAND ECONOMICS You have two cows. Your sheep are jealous.
FINNISH ECONOMICS You have two cows You sell one cow to buy the newest Nokia phone The government takes the other cow in payment for taxes for selling a cow for profit.
CANADIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows You milk one in French, one in English The French one now wishes to split, the English one whines about it.
by Helenism
CAR FOR SALE
A fifteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to yell and scream, "Where did you get that car???!!!" He calmly told them,
"I bought it today."
"With what money?" demanded his parents. We know what a Porsche costs."
"Well," said the boy, "this one cost me fifteen dollars." So the parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars?" they said.
"It was the lady up the street," said the boy. I don't know her name-they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars."
"Oh my Goodness!," moaned the mother, "she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's going on." So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias! He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a Porsche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.
"Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but learned from a friend he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary and really doesn't intend to come back. He claimed he was stranded and asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did."
(Are women good or what?)
A fifteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to yell and scream, "Where did you get that car???!!!" He calmly told them,
"I bought it today."
"With what money?" demanded his parents. We know what a Porsche costs."
"Well," said the boy, "this one cost me fifteen dollars." So the parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars?" they said.
"It was the lady up the street," said the boy. I don't know her name-they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars."
"Oh my Goodness!," moaned the mother, "she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's going on." So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias! He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a Porsche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.
"Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but learned from a friend he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary and really doesn't intend to come back. He claimed he was stranded and asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did."
(Are women good or what?)
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maheroonPradhan
- Posts: 75
- Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2005 2:54 pm
Kid's quick thinking
Subject: Quick Thinking Kids in School
TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS : Maria!
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
FRANK : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the >floor?
JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables!
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
GLENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD : H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
DONALD : Yesterday you said it's H to O!
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE : Me!
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE : I is...
TEACHER : No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
LOUIS : Because George still had the ax in his hand.
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog!
__________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD : A teacher.
TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS : Maria!
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
FRANK : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the >floor?
JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables!
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
GLENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD : H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
DONALD : Yesterday you said it's H to O!
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE : Me!
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE : I is...
TEACHER : No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
LOUIS : Because George still had the ax in his hand.
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog!
__________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD : A teacher.
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maheroonPradhan
- Posts: 75
- Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2005 2:54 pm
Lost and found
Says one humorist: "Life is unfair. I lost my car keys at a ball game and never found them. I lost my sunglasses at the beach and never found them. I lost my socks in the washing machine and never found them. I lost three pounds on a diet -- I found them and five more."
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Guest
Three Indians and Three Pakistanis
Three Indians and three Pakistanis are traveling by train to a Cricket match at the World Cup in South Africa. At the station, the three Indians buy a ticket each and watch as the three Pakistanis buy just one ticket for them all. "How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks one of the Indians. "Watch and learn," answers one of the Pakistanis.
They all board the train. The Indians take their respective seats but all three Pakistani cram into a toilet and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train departs, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The Indians see this and agree it was quite a clever idea. So after the game, they decide to copy the Pakistani style on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they get to the station, they buy one ticket for three on the return trip. To their astonishment, the Pakistanis don't buy ticket at all!! "How come are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed Indian. "Watch and learn," answers a Pakistani.
>When they board the train the three Indians cram into one toilet and soon after the three Pakistanis cram into another nearby toilet. The train departs. Shortly afterwards, one of the Pakistanis leaves the toilet and walks over to the toilet where the Indians are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The Pakistani takes the ticket and goes in their toilet.
Three Indians and three Pakistanis are traveling by train to a Cricket match at the World Cup in South Africa. At the station, the three Indians buy a ticket each and watch as the three Pakistanis buy just one ticket for them all. "How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks one of the Indians. "Watch and learn," answers one of the Pakistanis.
They all board the train. The Indians take their respective seats but all three Pakistani cram into a toilet and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train departs, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The Indians see this and agree it was quite a clever idea. So after the game, they decide to copy the Pakistani style on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they get to the station, they buy one ticket for three on the return trip. To their astonishment, the Pakistanis don't buy ticket at all!! "How come are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed Indian. "Watch and learn," answers a Pakistani.
>When they board the train the three Indians cram into one toilet and soon after the three Pakistanis cram into another nearby toilet. The train departs. Shortly afterwards, one of the Pakistanis leaves the toilet and walks over to the toilet where the Indians are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The Pakistani takes the ticket and goes in their toilet.
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maheroonPradhan
- Posts: 75
- Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2005 2:54 pm
A couple wants a divorce, but first they must decide who will be the main guardian of their child. The jury asks both the man and woman for a reason why they should be the one to keep the child. So the jury asks the woman first. She says, "Well I carried this child around in my stomach for nine months and I had to go through a painful birth process, this is my child and apart of me." The jury is impressed and then turns to ask the man the same question. The man replies, "OK, I take a coin and put it in the drink machine and a drink comes out, now tell me who does the drink belong to me or the machine"
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Akbar(Khan)
- Posts: 17
- Joined: Sat Apr 22, 2006 7:30 pm
Calgary was named after:
A feathered Indian came up to a limping dotted Indian and asked in his native language, “what is this place?” The limping woman thinking the feathered man is asking what is wrong and she replied “Cal gary… Cal gary” and that is how the city was named! It turns out hat Calgary means "fell yesterday"
A feathered Indian came up to a limping dotted Indian and asked in his native language, “what is this place?” The limping woman thinking the feathered man is asking what is wrong and she replied “Cal gary… Cal gary” and that is how the city was named! It turns out hat Calgary means "fell yesterday"
Re: good job sofiya
hussein_g3 wrote:Man walks into a bar and asks for a glass of water. The bar tender points a gun at him. He says thank you and leaves. What happened here?
-- He had the hiccups!
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maheroonPradhan
- Posts: 75
- Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2005 2:54 pm
How to get rich quicker!
How to get rich quicker!
Ahmed and Hamid are both beggars at several motorway services.
Ahmed drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a
lot of money to spend .
Hamid only brings in 2 to 3 pounds a day. Hamid asks Ahmed how he
manages to bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes every day.
Ahmed says, "Look at your sign. It says, "I have no work, a wife
and six kids to support."
Britons who see that do not feel as if they have accomplished
anything by giving you money.
You will still have no job and a large family.
Now look at my sign."
So Hamid looks and Ahmed's sign reads:
I only need another £10 to move back to Pakistan."
Ahmed and Hamid are both beggars at several motorway services.
Ahmed drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a
lot of money to spend .
Hamid only brings in 2 to 3 pounds a day. Hamid asks Ahmed how he
manages to bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes every day.
Ahmed says, "Look at your sign. It says, "I have no work, a wife
and six kids to support."
Britons who see that do not feel as if they have accomplished
anything by giving you money.
You will still have no job and a large family.
Now look at my sign."
So Hamid looks and Ahmed's sign reads:
I only need another £10 to move back to Pakistan."
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From_Alamut
- Posts: 666
- Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2008 8:22 am
The Famous funnies Stories of Mullah Nasruddin
The Famous funnies Stories of Mullah Nasruddin in the Central East, such as Afghanistan, Iran and Turkey
A neighbor who Mullah Nasruddin didn't like very much came over to his compound one day. The neighbor asked Nasruddin if he could borrow his donkey. Nasruddin not wanting to lend his donkey to the neighbor he didn't like told him, "I would love to loan you my donkey but only yesterday my brother came from the next town to use it to carry his wheat to the mill to be grounded. The donkey sadly is not here."
The neighbor was disappointed. But he thanked Nasruddin and began to walk away.
Just as he got a few steps away, Mullah Nasruddin's donkey, which was in the back of his compound all the time, let out a big bray.
The neighbor turned to Nasruddin and said, "Mullah Sahib, I thought you told me that your donkey was not here.
Mullah Nasruddin turned to the neighbor and said, "My friend, who are you going to believe? Me or the donkey?
A neighbor who Mullah Nasruddin didn't like very much came over to his compound one day. The neighbor asked Nasruddin if he could borrow his donkey. Nasruddin not wanting to lend his donkey to the neighbor he didn't like told him, "I would love to loan you my donkey but only yesterday my brother came from the next town to use it to carry his wheat to the mill to be grounded. The donkey sadly is not here."
The neighbor was disappointed. But he thanked Nasruddin and began to walk away.
Just as he got a few steps away, Mullah Nasruddin's donkey, which was in the back of his compound all the time, let out a big bray.
The neighbor turned to Nasruddin and said, "Mullah Sahib, I thought you told me that your donkey was not here.
Mullah Nasruddin turned to the neighbor and said, "My friend, who are you going to believe? Me or the donkey?
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From_Alamut
- Posts: 666
- Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2008 8:22 am
Re: The Famous funnies Stories of Mullah Nasruddin
One day Nasruddin repaired tiles on the roof of his house. While Nasruddin was working on the roof, a stranger knocked the door.
- What do you want? Nasruddin shouted out.
- Come down, replied stranger So I can tell it.
Nasruddin unwilling and slowly climbed down the ladder.
- Well! replied Nasruddin, what was the important thing?
- Could you give little money to this poor old man? begged stranger.
Tired Nasruddin started to climb up the ladder and said,
- Follow me up to the roof.
When both Nasruddin and beggar were upside, on the roof, Nasruddin said,
- The answer is no!
- What do you want? Nasruddin shouted out.
- Come down, replied stranger So I can tell it.
Nasruddin unwilling and slowly climbed down the ladder.
- Well! replied Nasruddin, what was the important thing?
- Could you give little money to this poor old man? begged stranger.
Tired Nasruddin started to climb up the ladder and said,
- Follow me up to the roof.
When both Nasruddin and beggar were upside, on the roof, Nasruddin said,
- The answer is no!
-
From_Alamut
- Posts: 666
- Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2008 8:22 am
Re: The Famous funnies Stories of Mullah Nasruddin
Mulla Nasruddin opened a booth with a sign above it:
Two Questions On Any Subject Answered For Only 100 Silver Coins
A man who had two very urgent questions handed over his money, saying:
- A hundred silver coins is rather expensive for two questions, isn't it?
- Yes, said Nasruddin, and the next question, please?
Two Questions On Any Subject Answered For Only 100 Silver Coins
A man who had two very urgent questions handed over his money, saying:
- A hundred silver coins is rather expensive for two questions, isn't it?
- Yes, said Nasruddin, and the next question, please?
-
From_Alamut
- Posts: 666
- Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2008 8:22 am
Re: The Famous funnies Stories of Mullah Nasruddin
Nasruddin used to stand in the street on market-days, to be pointed out as an idiot. No matter how often people offered him a large and a small coin, he always chose the smaller piece.
One day a kindly man said to him:
- Nasruddin, you should take the bigger coin. Then you will have more money and people will no longer be able to make a laughing stock of you.
- That may be true, said Nasruddin, but if I always take the larger, people will stop offering me money to prove that I am more idiotic than they are. Then I would have no money at all.
As Nasruddin emerged form the mosque after prayers, a beggar sitting on the street solicited alms. The following conversation followed:
- Are you extravagant? asked Nasruddin.
- Yes Nasruddin. replied the beggar.
- Do you like sitting around drinking coffee and smoking? asked Nasruddin.
- Yes. replied the beggar.
- I suppose you like to go to the baths everyday? asked Nasruddin.
- Yes. replied the beggar.
- ...And maybe amuse yourself, even, by drinking with friends? asked Nasruddin.
- Yes I like all those things. replied the beggar.
- Tut, Tut, said Nasruddin, and gave him a gold piece.
A few yards farther on. another beggar who had overheard the conversation begged for alms also.
- Are you extravagant? asked Nasruddin.
- No, Nasruddin replied second beggar.
- Do you like sitting around drinking coffee and smoking? asked Nasruddin.
- No. replied second beggar.
- I suppose you like to go to the baths everyday? asked Nasruddin.
- No. replied second beggar.
- ...And maybe amuse yourself, even, by drinking with friends? asked Nasruddin.
- No, I want to only live meagerly and to pray. replied second beggar.
Whereupon the Nasruddin gave him a small copper coin.
- But why, wailed second beggar, do you give me, an economical and pious
man, a penny, when you give that extravagant fellow a sovereign?
Ah my friend, replied Nasruddin, his needs are greater than yours.
One day a kindly man said to him:
- Nasruddin, you should take the bigger coin. Then you will have more money and people will no longer be able to make a laughing stock of you.
- That may be true, said Nasruddin, but if I always take the larger, people will stop offering me money to prove that I am more idiotic than they are. Then I would have no money at all.
As Nasruddin emerged form the mosque after prayers, a beggar sitting on the street solicited alms. The following conversation followed:
- Are you extravagant? asked Nasruddin.
- Yes Nasruddin. replied the beggar.
- Do you like sitting around drinking coffee and smoking? asked Nasruddin.
- Yes. replied the beggar.
- I suppose you like to go to the baths everyday? asked Nasruddin.
- Yes. replied the beggar.
- ...And maybe amuse yourself, even, by drinking with friends? asked Nasruddin.
- Yes I like all those things. replied the beggar.
- Tut, Tut, said Nasruddin, and gave him a gold piece.
A few yards farther on. another beggar who had overheard the conversation begged for alms also.
- Are you extravagant? asked Nasruddin.
- No, Nasruddin replied second beggar.
- Do you like sitting around drinking coffee and smoking? asked Nasruddin.
- No. replied second beggar.
- I suppose you like to go to the baths everyday? asked Nasruddin.
- No. replied second beggar.
- ...And maybe amuse yourself, even, by drinking with friends? asked Nasruddin.
- No, I want to only live meagerly and to pray. replied second beggar.
Whereupon the Nasruddin gave him a small copper coin.
- But why, wailed second beggar, do you give me, an economical and pious
man, a penny, when you give that extravagant fellow a sovereign?
Ah my friend, replied Nasruddin, his needs are greater than yours.
-
From_Alamut
- Posts: 666
- Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2008 8:22 am
Re: The Famous funnies Stories of Mullah Nasruddin
One day Nasruddin went to a banquet. As he was dressed rather shabbily, no one let him in. So he ran home, put on his best robe and fur coat and returned. Immediately, the host came over, greeted him and ushered him to the head of an elaborate banquet table. When the food was served, Nasruddin took some soup with spoon and pushed it to the his fur coat and said,
- Eat my fur coat, eat! It's obvious that you're the real guest of honor today, not me!
- Eat my fur coat, eat! It's obvious that you're the real guest of honor today, not me!